Blogs | Archieven | Isabelle Schuerbeke

23

Jun

On which field are you playing?

Regardless of whether or not you are a football fan (and those who are, no doubt have the time of their lives nowadays), there is an image that I often use in coaching and training sessions which I would like to share with you. Let's say that we all have a football field to play on in our lives and work situations. our football fields are all surrounded by other football fields, those of people you live and work with. Every day, often without realizing it, balls are thrown onto your field: it may be a task that someone is asking you to do or a responsibility that is not really yours but you end up with anyway. Or it might be someone else’s conviction which is so stubbornly present in your own mind that over time it has become your own conviction too. In an attempt to do good for others or to try to do our job or duties in the best possible way, we often struggle with all the balls unrightfully lying on ou field. They are indeed a heavy burden to carry. The multitude of responsibilities which we cannot carry or fix for someone else, are often dragging us down and block the road to self-care and constructive relationships. We regulary need to reflect on which balls are lying on our field and do not belong there. They are often issues we struggle with…

06

May

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

Perception

The POWER OF PERCEPTION If we want to understand the challenges of communication, we need to start with the notion of perception. We too often assume that our reality is automatically someone else’s reality. In fact this is hardly ever so. In life, in our work, we are all on a continuous journey. We all carry our imaginary backpack in which we unconsciously store our experiences, convictions and beliefs. Our caretakers, our childhood and family situation, our friends, education, religious and cultural background, … all define the contents of that backpack. Our paradigm shapes the lens through which we observe the world around us. Needless to say that no backpack is the same, and that therefore there is no such thing as one single reality. We all have our own interpretation of what goes on around us. In training sessions on effective communication, I often get the remark that facts…

23

Apr

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

Explore your creativity

In our search for more mental resilience and well-being, creativity is an important tool. In one of her many interviews Texan researcher and author Brené Brown points out the importance of consciously cultivating creativity. For if we do not give our creativity the space it needs, it will turn into frustration. But creativity – along with other areas of growing self-awareness – does not come without courage. Courage to show up, to take off our masks and let our authentic selves be seen. Again according to Brené Brown the birthplace of creativity is vulnerability. Especially in a professional context (and let’s be honest, also often in our private lives) vulnerability is a term we often struggle with. Very…

16

Apr

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

Take (even) more care of yourself

Every connection, every relationship, whether professional or personal, starts with the connection and relationship with ourselves. I often hear coachees being harsh for themselves. In this VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex & Ambiguous) world we feel we must be nothing less than perfect and preferably all the time. And that is where the harshness gets in. The pressure we put on ourselves is often sky high, the elastic is stretched until it snaps and we have to admit that constantly aiming for perfection is dragging us down. That is often the point where the search for someone’s authentic true self begins and I, as a coach, step in. One of the first things I usually ask my clients to…

09

Apr

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

Connect

There’s a lot to write about connection. And with connection I don’t mean connecting via all kinds of social media, of course. We know very well by now that these do not contribute to our happiness, on the contrary. In essence, I easily recognize the feeling of connection when I am around the horses. I have learnt that they’re not particularly fond of me when I rush in with my focus on my to do list or with high expectations of what they should do for me that day. They often don’t even bother to come and greet me then and if I persist, I usually get punched or bitten. But when I go and settle in with…

02

Apr

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

Exploring our thoughts, emotions and behaviour

In the previous blog I already wrote that regularly exploring our own thoughts and emotions is not for sissies. Indeed, it takes quite some courage, as well as heaps of empathy … for ourselves to start with. Our emotions and thoughts often seem to swing back and forth because of external events occurring in our lives. We feel and think positively if good things happen to us. On the other hand, a discussion with e.g. our boss or one of our colleagues can easily drag our thoughts and feelings down into a negative spiral. The magic of constructive relationships does not happen above the water surface, where we merely observe (read: often judge) the other person’s behaviour. We need courage to empathically dive into the depth of our own and the other person’s thoughts and feelings where connection and understanding can be found. Have you ever reflected on the idea that it is not “the others” causing you to feel upset, sad or angry, but that in fact they – often unconsciously – activate one of your emotional switches already present within you ? Each time we feel triggered, we get an opportunity for self-growth. The triggered part tells you about old hurt that needs your attention to heal. In that sense people who often trigger us, are valuable mentors on our path of self-growth. Self-development starts with the belief that we can master our own thoughts feelings and therefore also our own behaviour. That we are able to bend our mental automatic pilot patterns, if we are committed to practising this regularly. Taking time for reflection on what is going on inside of you is the first step to increased self-awareness. Understanding how interconnected your thoughts, feelings and behaviour really are, will eventually allow you to turn them around.

23

Feb

By Isabelle Schuerbeke

5 tips for (even more) mental resilience after 1 year of COVID-19

The corona crisis is controlling our lives for about a year now. Our certainties and liberties have changed significantly. The distractions of before exist no more. Thrown back on ourselves we reflect more than ever on the work we do, the life we lead, the relationships in which we invest. Every change holds opportunities, so does this corona pandemic. It takes mental resilience to spot and seize these opportunities. The 5 tips below, which I will elaborate on in the coming weeks, will help you to strenghten your mental well-being: Explore your thoughts and emotions Admittedly, regularly scrutinizing your own thoughts and emotions is not for sissies. It takes quite some courage in fact, as well as heaps…