Every connection, every relationship, whether professional or personal, starts with the connection and relationship with ourselves. I often hear coachees being harsh for themselves. In this VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex & Ambiguous) world we feel we must be nothing less than perfect and preferably all the time.
And that is where the harshness gets in. The pressure we put on ourselves is often sky high, the elastic is stretched until it snaps and we have to admit that constantly aiming for perfection is dragging us down. That is often the point where the search for someone’s authentic true self begins and I, as a coach, step in.
One of the first things I usually ask my clients to do in a coaching program, is to map what gives them energy and what takes away their energy. If that is clear, the coachees understand what charges their battery and what makes it leak. The rest should be simple: do more of the energy givers, and less of the energy takers.
Or not ? Unfortunately most of us are stuck in patterns which take some more time and attention to turn them around. Although we might feel that a current situation is not doing us good, the fear for an uncertain future or for a potential conflict is holding us back. And so we choose every day – mostly unconsciously – to hang on to what we know, trapped in our comfort zone.
In the search for our authentic self, self-care can by no means be overlooked. What do I need ? What do I like ? What gives me energy ? It can be something as big as an exotic restful holiday or as small as consciously enjoying a cup of coffee during working hours. From a good work-out in the gym to an early morning walk in nature. From a good conversation with a friend to a quiet hot bath in the evening.
Throughout your life the person you will spend most time with, is yourself. Be conscious to give that relationship the care it needs. A gift from time to time is highly recommended! Whatever you like, whatever you need, put it high on your priority list. Don’t compromise. With your battery regularly connected to its charger, you will feel more productive and less stressed out. More kind to yourself and consequently also to others.
